Welcome back to the raising Godly children series! If you missed the last post, you can click back to read more about it “Keys to raising Godly children“. I featured several women of God on how the Lord was leading them to raise children for his kingdom. I also featured another mom on combining motherhood and business from a Christian perspective.
That aside, i am super excited to be featuring one of my amazing mothers in Christ (I will keep her anonymous for privacy). She will be sharing some more keys to raising Godly children. She has young adult children and therefore a lot more experienced in motherhood. She has been such a blessing to my life and others in our fellowship. Its called Bethel Campus Fellowship and our mission is to Lead students to Christ and prepare them to become reliable men and women that God can entrust with his word for the next generation. This community of believers has made such a huge impact on my life as a woman of God and it just gives me so much joy seeing young people hungry for Christ every day of their lives.
Godly Parenting Tips for Moms and Dads
1) What are some important keys to raising Godly children?
The keys-Teaching, modeling and mentoring.
Teaching, modeling and mentoring include living out scriptures, so the children will see it relevant to every part of daily activities. Teaching them about life: realities of life and how to live by faith in the word of God as they navigate through various phases of life. Modeling as I become transparent that even my vulnerabilities and weakness are apparent, so my children know I am also in the followership of Christ as a sinner saved by grace in a fallen world just like they are.
I make an effort to ensure my home is where they look forward to returning. Creating a conducive atmosphere where they will miss whenever they are not at home. Knowing when to be firm and when to be flexible. I envisioned a house of worship and a house where my children will freely express themselves. A home that even if they fail they know they are loved and that we are together as their fan and discipler.
It is difficult for me to address parenting question in the first person. During one of our family, devotion/meetings we started discussing what today constitutes our core family values. These core family values as we called them formed the foundation of their first published book titled “Flaws and Virtues: Tales for Moral success” available on Amazon. This book was a product of an effort in teaching the values of manners. Now that they are grown we are simply mentoring and the modeling of Christ continues for life.
2) How do you guard their hearts against the devices of the enemy such as peer pressure, TV shows that might seem innocent but are not, etc?
I think guarding one’s hearts against the devices of the enemy is a lifetime battle that cannot be taught by a parent. Even as adults, we still battle with various kinds of pressures from the world. One bible verse my husband drilled into me as we became parents of three in the first three years of marriage is that both of us are not capable of raising Godly children and how much we needed God to help us. So we took the word of God in Isaiah 54:13 literally as our parenting scripture and believed that “All our children should be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of our children.”
Somehow, God has been helping us as our children speak the same language with us-not Ibo though. We will be happy if they are fluent in a second early language. However, above all, we all talk and understand the Bible as the Holy Spirit that indwells all of us tells them this is the way to go, say ‘No’ to this and so on. In practical terms, we explained through our own upbringing that they do not need to watch television to survive in life. We did not have television sets in their bedrooms, and they watched TV only on weekends.
I was very transparent with them. we shared stories of what is happening in their school, church and the world. We taught them to trust God in their relationship as man can fail them.
3) What is the most important lesson for you to pass on to your children?
I tell my children that it is a win-win with Christ. Nothing that the world will offer them can give them the real peace and hope, and I always use my own life experiences to buttress the fact that a life of surrender to Christ is very fulfilling.
I give my children examples from the Bible and world events. I tell them not to buy the lie of the enemy that tells them they will lose out if they do not go the way of the world. That the feeling of missing out is a deception from the evil one. Daniel purposed he will not defile himself with the kings delicacies something that is not an outright sin. But it’s like saying am not going to drink alcohol or dress like the world which other professing Christian youth are doing.
In spite of Daniel, Joseph purposing to separate themselves from the world God still promoted them to be rulers and leaders of their nations and communities. I let them know they are aliens and people of the world in their circle admire and wish to be like them and so they should be satisfied and content as the world has nothing to offer.
4) How do you balance raising your kids and having a Godly marriage or even with maintaining relationships with friends and family?
I think as I said I allow God to raise all of us together. We shared chores, and I started involving our children early to be part of running the family. I believe so much in the scripture in Isiah 49:15 that says “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may remember, I will not forget you!
One thing that helped me balance these areas is not being a people pleaser and knowing I have a vision for my children. Our family events, celebration parties, vacations were when we could and the level we could afford and we did not subject ourselves to others expectation of us.
We were not involved in sleepover practice which offended my friends, but that is just one of our family values. As first borns, my husband and I had so much extended family obligations, but God provided us harmony as we read the scriptures and fellowship together.
My local church community of 24 years CAC Bethel, and our pastors have also been instrumental in having a Godly marriage. We have many good examples to follow and Godly mentors coaching us when we meet some crossroads. I also have a few friends from college years who understood intercessory prayers, and they have continued to encourage me to intercede for my marriage and children. The Bethel campus fellowship has been helpful in providing Godly role models and great family friends that have helped in mentoring our young adult children.