Father’s day is slowly approaching and what better way to celebrate them? I figured we should discuss the role of fathers in the lives of their children. You know, i feel like sometimes society undermines the roles fathers play. Do not get me wrong, mothers do a great deal of work towards the family, however, men are equally as important. I majorly see society praise mothers as opposed to fathers, or maybe it’s just me. What do you think?

One statement i dislike hearing is “daddy is babysitting”. I know we often say it unconsciously or without much thought. But you never really hear “mommy is babysitting”, why is that? I have an issue with the statement because daddys do not babysit. Babysitting, in my opinion, is when you are watching kids that are not your own. In the Merriam-webster, it says to babysit means to care for children during the absence of the parents. Now you see my point. Fathers do not babysit, they are equally parents just like mothers. It is their job to equally care for their children.

Fathers play very vital roles in the lives of their children. Yes, any man can father a child, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

Before i go on, let me note that i am not saying kids are ruined without their dads, definitely not! Pause, single mothers are the strongest women in my opinion. You guys totally rock, i do not even know how you hold it all together. However, i just want to stress the role of a father from some biblical standards. Of course, there are single moms due to various circumstances beyond their control.  However, if possible it is best to either have the involve the fathers somehow or even enroll the children in mentorship programs or enroll your sons with fatherly role models at church.

Also, remember God is so amazing and gracious to us all no matter what. Even though your situation may not sound ideal to you, he is able to still bring out the best in everything as long as you look to him. He can make things perfect for you and provide the help you need if necessary.

The role of fathers in the lives of their children

It’s funny cause when you ask many parents, they will probably say their goal is to clothe, educate, feed and provide for their children right? But that is also the same thing for a dog or a pet lolll. As parents, and for the sake of this blog post, as fathers, our jobs are a lot more than just those.

Emotions

Fathers play a major role in the emotional development of their children. They provide stability and discipline in the children’s lives. Fathers impact the kind of relationships your child will have in future. If they constantly see their dad showing affection and being passionate about their mom and to others, they will most likely pick this up. if they see the reverse, things could go negatively.

For instance, if the son sees the dad beating the mother often, there is the possibility he will see that as something that is okay to do. If the daughter sees this, she might think most men are this way and avoid relationships. Daughters tend to look for men that appear similar to their fathers. They will look for experiences in men that they are used to from birth. If their fathers were loving and caring, they will seek these characteristics out.

A father also builds daughters up emotionally. When a father makes his daughter feel like the most beautiful woman ever, she does not seek approval or love from other men. Often times when women do this, when they find themselves in abusive relationships, they stick around because they have no real idea of what love is.

For sons, they often have their dads as role models and try to be like them. When they see a great father with Godly attributes, they will model this and become great men in the society.  A lot of problems going on in the society are due to the lack of proper parental guidance especially fatherly role models.

Ephesians 6:4 talks about fathers:

Do not provoke

Fathers are called not to provoke their children. What does this mean? Provoking can come in various ways. For instance being humiliating or abusive or making unnecessary demands of them. Fathers are not to “provoke” or frustrate their children. This can be done through a few of the following ways:

• Bullying them to do things
• Being overly strict or overprotective of them to the extent of pushing them away. Especially when you do not trust their own decisions and do not allow them to make their choices. Parents should guide obviously, but always remember they are human beings too and need to make some decisions themselves.
• Fathers are to instead teach their children God’s Word to provide wisdom and to help children come to salvation.
• Playing favorites
• Pushing them beyond reasonable limits to the extent that they believe they can never do anything great in their parents’ eyes
• Being discouraging and never complimenting them or not making them feel great about themselves.

Knowledge of God

Fathers are called to bring up their kids in the training and knowledge of God. It is important to train them up to know about Christ so that when they grow older they do not depart from it. This does not just mean by telling them about God. It requires a lifestyle of Christ. We need to show them how to live like Christ and have our marriage show them a glimpse of God’s love. In the things we do and say, we need to be Godly so they can see Christ in us.

It is important for both parents to know and love the Lord, if not they have no grounds or lifestyle to pass to their children besides head knowledge. If a father desires to raise their children in the fear and knowledge of God, they need to have the word of god embedded in their hearts and living the word of God not just having the knowledge in their minds.

1 Corinthians 11:1 says Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.

In this verse, fathers are to imitate Christ so their children can imitate them as well.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

These commandments refer to the words that God has given to us. Fathers are to know God’s Word, study it, teach it to their children, and be involved on a daily basis with their kids. In order to bring our children up in the way of Christ, we need to live it as a lifestyle. In the verses above, fathers can lead the hearts of their children to God by teaching these words diligently to their children.

A lifestyle of Christ means it comes naturally and is second nature, in other words, you do not have to think about it first. It is embedded in everything you do. Like the verses say, teach them when you talk. This means in our speech, in what we say, they should hear Christ. It also says to talk of them while we sit down, while we walk on the road, when we lie down and when we rise up. In order to teach them this way, it needs to be a natural way of life. It is not just a one-time thing or a once in a while process. It is something that is done naturally and all the time. These teachings should be done through everyday activities in the home and in our lives.

Do you have family devotion time? or time to pray with your children and just talk about Christ? This is important and helps them know that God is the foundation upon which the family stands on.  What role does the television play in their lives? These days there are so many shows that seem innocent but are hidden devices of the devil. I try to screen my daughter’s tv shows but i admit i need to do a lot better by taking time to look into all of them.

Does the television take up all the time for family that you barely have time to sit and talk? When you go to bed, do you close the night in prayer together? When you rise up, do you thank God for a new day together?

Psalm 5: 3 In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

It is simple things like these that make an impact in their lives and show them that God is topmost in the home. As it says to bind them as doorframes on your house when people come to your home or see you as a family, do they see Christ? Do they know that you and your family belong to God or do they have doubts?

Joshua 24:15 But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Training

That bible verse is so true regarding parenthood. Let’s focus on it in this topic of fatherhood. As fathers, you have these arrows in your quiver and it’s your responsibility to throw them as far as possible. You want them to go further than you can, which means even when you are gone, they are still able to impact their generation and even more. As fathers, you need to push them as far as they can reach. You send your children out like arrows to hit a target, you launch them to hit a target!

Mothers tend to be more nurturing and careful while men are a bit more aggressive. Hence i feel men are able to push harder where women might feel its okay to be calm. Men can push their kids to take up certain sports they seem to like but have fears about. I see football as an aggressive sport and keep saying i am not sure my future sons will do that. But my husband disagrees, again because i am more careful and look at the risks as opposed to his male nature that looks past it.

Sometimes when my husband plays with my daughter, myself and his mom get so scared and ask him to stop. We prefer gentler forms of playing but for him, he knows he would not drop her and that she is safe in his arms. When it comes to communication as well, i tend to try to speak at her level and be calmer, but my husband sometimes will talk on a higher level and say she is learning to loll.

Fathers also tend to be more able to prepare their children for the negatives of the real world than mothers. I get scared when i think about my child going to high school or places where i would not be with her for the whole day. I begin to worry about all the things that could go wrong. my husband, on the other hand, does not. Instead, he says as long as they are prepared and ready, they will be fine. I worry about bullying, gun violence, not fitting in, etc. But i always have to remind myself that God gave them to me and i am just a caregiver on earth. They belong to God so he WILL definitely take good care of them.

Discipline

Proverbs 3:12 says for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.

Men discipline differently from women, while women try to be gentler in their forms of discipline men usually instill the rules and expect them to obey. Although, in the case of my parents ths was different, especially for me. I think fathers are easier on their girls lol. With my daughter, i would admit, i tend to give in easily to her demands more frequently than my husband. Although, for certain things i do not. But he tends to be the more rule-abiding one.

Provision

Matthew 7: 9-11 says

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him

This verse is speaking of God’s love and provision for us. But in the same way, it relates to fathers. Fathers are to provide for the needs of their children and see to their desires. As heads of the home, they are to see that they cater to the needs of their families. Failure to do so could lead children to seek provision in the wrong places. Just like God gives us good gifts when we ask him, the same way fathers are to give good gifts to their children. Just like God may withhold certain gifts we pray for until certain times because he knows if we get it now, it may destroy us. In the same way, fathers are to give with wisdom.

What do you think about the role of fathers in the lives of their children? What are some ways you try to work together as a family to nurture Godliness in your children?

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