Setting parenting goals with your kids is very important in fostering a healthy relationship with them. As parents, being able to build relationships with our kids is vital. Sometimes we get carried away with the hustle of life and neglect nurturing our relationship with our children or forget to slow down and spend time with them. Especially as mothers, between working, caring for the family, doing the laundry, businesses, cooking etc it can be hard to find windows of opportunity to spend quality time with them.
Having a good parent to child relationship has many benefits for both parents and children. Setting parenting goals especially in areas we will like to improve, will help make us better parents and in turn make parenting a little easier. Because let’s face it parenting can be very hard and demanding.
Benefits of a good parent to child relationship
Great parent to child relationships can be beneficial in several ways not only for children but also for parents.
Here are some key benefits:
It helps build a happy life for yourself and your child
Our relationship with our kids is basically the foundation of relationships for them. When we display a healthy relationship with them where openness and communication are fostered, we are able to build strong and positive relationships with them. We are teaching them in very simple ways how to relate with others at school, neighbors etc. They learn how to control their emotions and what they should or should not do in other relationships.
It helps display the love of Christ to them
Healthy relationships with our children shows them the love of Christ. Christ loved us so much that he died for us. As parents we have the opportunity to display healthy relationships to them rather than them looking outside for it. When we talk about God being a good father, by being good parents ourselves and having great parent to child relationships, we give them a glimpse of what the love of God as a father is. You could even try doing activities together such as giving back to others as a family.
It helps develop great self-esteem and characteristics in your child
It helps our children develop self esteem and self confidence while also fostering other characteristics in them. When the parent to child relationship is broken, it leads to several problems and communication can be affected. Children may begin to lose confidence in their parents or the freedom to open up to them and thus begin to hide their struggles. This will in turn affect their mental and emotional development.
It could reduce parenting challenges such as behavioral issues
For some, parenting can be a constant battle of bad behaviors. A good relationship with your child could help reduce these. When kids feel comfortable with their parents and have a strong bond with them, there are less chances of misbehaving and they are more likely to work together with their parents towards a common goal. Of course this wont solve all issues, but it could be a step in the right direction.
It fosters closeness to one another and open communication
By nurturing a great relationship with our children, we are able to build closeness with them and this means they feel safe and are more likely to communicate freely and openly with us. Especially for parents of older kids, it is important to be close to your children in order to help them through life experiences and emotions they may be dealing with.
Parenting goals to nurture great parent to child relationship
Tell them you love them often
It is simple to assume your children know you love them but its also important to say it to them. My daughter loves hearing this and I recently started making my parents say it to me while on the phone lol. You can tell them you love them at any time during the day.
Yell less
Now this is a struggle for most parents including myself. We try our best not to yell but find ourselves yelling at our kids when we are triggered. I am learning there are better ways to handle things other than yelling. I also try to think of how I personally like to be corrected. Imagine getting yelled at by your manager at work for something you did wrong, you probably would not receive that correction well, the same with our kids, we need to find ways to correct them by parenting with grace and being calm before we react.
Sometimes we even need to take a look at our own lives and what may be causing us to respond in certain ways, maybe there are times in the day that are generally hard for you and thus you are more likely to yell at those times. There are many great resources online to help us yell less and parent with Grace just as Christ shows us Grace. Our kids are learning how to handle and do life in general and just like every beginner, accidents are bound to happen and being able to yell less and extend grace and forgiveness to them goes a long way in creating an environment of freedom and love for them.
If you are enjoying this post, please check out these other great posts on Godly parenting:
How to Pray the fruits of the spirit over the lives of your children
9 ways to teach children gratitude plus activities and books for kids
Creative ways to teach your kids the real meaning of Christmas
Spend quality time together as a family
Find some time to spend with your kids regularly. It helps us as parents learn more about our children and also be present in their struggles. I know it can be hard finding the time to spend with kids, but its important even if its just 10 mins to set aside to talk or play with them without any distractions like TV, cell phones etc. Being able to set these aside and prioritize your child helps reinforce that they are a priority in your life even when you are busy.
Play with them
Get down to their levels and play with them. Find out what they love to do and do it with them. My daughter loves to play pretend with her dolls and so I have noticed whenever I play other things with her, she is not fully satisfied till I play pretend with her. This is because it is sort of her definition of play and so everything else does not bring as much satisfaction. When we play with out kids and take part in their games, we are able to interact with them when they are super happy.
Listen to them and empathize
It is important as parents to always listen rather than assuming we know it all. Again, as parents it can be hard to find the time to listen to them without having any distractions like our cell phones. If you find windows of opportunity during your day, try to slow down and listen to what they may say. Sometimes behavior issues stem from children feeling neglected or lonely. Listen and empathize with them rather than immediately jumping to the solutions.
Eat together
I will say this is a struggle for us as a family right now but something we would love to work towards. Especially for older kids, eating together as a family can help spark great conversations. It’s a great time to find out how they are doing or how their day has been, struggles in school, friends etc
Set boundaries
I have come to learn that children thrive with structure and guidance especially as kids. For instance setting bed time routines and schedules helps them fall into a pattern and thrive through it. Talk regularly with them about your expectations and their expectations especially rules in the home and what happens when they break those rules There are great resources for age appropriate consequences that you can follow. Decide on the boundaries/ rules, talk about them often or ensure they understand them and follow through on consequences consistently.
Create family rituals
Having family rituals is a great way to create some consistency and also foster a great parent to child relationship especially with more than one child. For instance, in our home we have Fridays as movie and pizza night and its something our daughter looks forward to every week, her siblings are still very young but they get to play for longer before bedtime. Family rituals are also great to create one on one time with each child by maybe scheduling a different day each month to spend alone with each child to really get to bond with them as individuals.
Show love to them
Find out how each child likes to receive love and display that to them. Some love quality time, some love words of affections, some love being able to help around the home etc. Its very important in building parent to child relationships because it ensures each child receives love in the way they would appreciate it and is also a great way to connect with your child.
There are so many parenting goals to foster a healthy and great parent to child relationship, these are just a few of them. Give yourself grace because you would not be able to do all of these things all the time. Plus if you are lacking in most of these areas, welcome to the club because a lot of us are, simply ask the lord to help you in this parenting journey. No matter how guilty you feel, the fact that you are reading this means you are already a great parent and you are the best parent for your child which is why God blessed them with you and not someone else.
What are some ways or parenting goals you have set in your home to create healthy family relationships?
